This week in Soul Spaces I’m letting go of perfectionism.
Giving Up Perfection
I have the perfect thing to give up for lent; perfection. It is a dream, goal, and illusion that haunts my every move. I have tortured myself for years in search of the perfect. The perfect partner, the perfect diet, the perfect prescription for happiness, love, or whatever. I know from years of anxious searching, it is not worth chasing the illusion of perfection. She is a devilish taskmaster who is never satisfied with what is. Perversely, being satisfied with what is often allows the space for real change to happen, but only if we don’t chase it!
After years of chasing the formula for enlightenment, I’ve let go. I may never find nirvana, but I also won’t be torturing myself with frantic searching for the perfect prescription to fix myself, solve my problems, and achieve enlightenment. More than any other thing I’ve done in my life, learning to love and accept myself has been the hardest and most worthwhile thing I’ve done. I won’t pretend that I hang out blissfully in peace all day long, but I spend far less time and energy in search of solutions to my perceived shortcomings.
As I approach my 61st year, I’m learning to embrace who I am with all the warts, imperfections, mistakes, and challenges. This may be as good as it gets, and that is OK by me. I can spend more time celebrating who I am, what I do have, and all the wonderful people and experiences that have graced my life.
May we give ourselves the gift of acceptance.
writing to freedom 
Well said Brad. We all just try do the best we can.
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Agreed Len.
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this post resonated with me a lot. i have also been such a perfectionist in my life, especially in my younger years, and it caused nothing but stress and anxiety. like you, it has been in embracing myself as i am in perfect imperfection, and seeing the gifts and possibility in so much more than my ideas allowed me to, that has helped create greater peace, freedom, and joy in the now. great post. i let go of perfection along with you ❤
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Exactly Tania. Clearly you’ve traveled through the perfection trap and come out the other side. Kudos for allowing your passions and creativity to flow.
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it was tough…a hard one to release for sure, but does feel good to relax more. thank you ❤ it's so wonderful to read about your journey and seeing it manifest through your poetry and creativity.
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Thank you Tania.
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Beautiful post Brad. I’m with you and Tania .. I let go of perfection along with both of you. This is something that haunts my daughter, Lillian, also. She has much anviety over needing and wanting things to be perfect. This was the Perfect post!
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Thank you Camilla. I’m sorry your daughter is still caught in perfectionism. Maybe your good example will help her.
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That’s a great post. Giving up on the search for perfection seems like a formula for happiness in itself. 🙂
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Agreed Suzanne. Giving up the search has improved my happiness and satisfaction.
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That perfectionism thing is like trying to get at the pot at the end of the rainbow. As soon as you think you’re getting close, the target moves.
I used to be a perfectionist. I’d always list that as my “weakness” when applying for jobs (at least until I learned that way too many people used that).
Then one day I asked myself why I was doing that precisely TO myself. It wasn’t making me happier. The pursuit of a lucrative job and the “perfect life” that existed with it suddenly seemed woefully awful.
That’s about when I decided to become a teacher. And not too long after that I vowed not to work full time anymore. It’s not the “perfect career life” as capitalist society mandates, but it IS a blissful life and I’m blissfully content that I don’t aim for perfectionism anymore. 🙂
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That is a wonderful story Cynthia. I’m glad you found a path that works for you. I walked away from the rat race 30 years ago, but never quite found my path. Pursuing “spiritual” matters became my pot at the end of the rainbow. Lately I don’t seem to have any aspirations. I’m not sure if that is from giving up or surrendering. Time will tell. 🙂
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Oh….Good trait to kick to the curb Brad! Right there with you and it can be a life crusher if left to gain control…Good luck on that. I know you can do it! Look what you’ve done so far…Remember those things! Happy weekend to you…VK
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Agreed VK. I like the idea of kicking it to the curb! I’m learning to be more gentle and accepting of myself.
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Letting go of perfectionism sounds like a perfect thing to do! 😉
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Ha, ha. So am I perfect or not? 🙂
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I so love this post because i Can relate to it. I always search for perfection in my poetry, thus I am rarely happy with my little odes. I need to find that cure for fighting thius awful habit.
Now, yourt wise words to end this post, were …..dare I say….perfect.
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Ha, ha Drew. I’m glad you enjoyed my perfect post! Your poems are delightful whether they’re perfect or not.
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Smiling. Thank you for saying that
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I like the direction you are going….great post!!
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Thank you Kirt.
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learning to love and accept myself has been the hardest and most worthwhile thing I’ve done – so true of this journey for me too – just this week I broke through another layer of self-judgment and resistance, finding my way to becoming more comfortable being myself.
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Congrats on your progress Pragalbha. It’s an ongoing process for me.
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Yes I find it ongoing to … I keep repeating it with more layers of it coming my way.
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Sounds familiar. 🙂
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Bravo to you for your commitment to live differently. Everything is this world is perfectly imperfect and loving it all makes for a grand life. Thank you for speaking out on a topic that so many of us can relate to.
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You’re most welcome Ali. I’m glad you can relate. It’s been an interesting process. I like your perspective on loving things as they are to unlock a grand life.
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