I’m back from my trip east to see family and finally feeling caught up. I worked hard in mom’s house and yard to get things back in shape. She hires people to help with house cleaning and mowing, but the details get neglected. I spent much of my time outdoors; picking up debris, trimming trees, pruning bushes, weeding and mulching beds, patching woodpecker holes, and detailing her car. It was nice to get daily fresh air and exercise, but I noticed lower energy and more aches this year. Mom was still impressed and grateful for all that was accomplished.
The talks with mom were hard, but it was good to voice our feelings and perspectives and clarify a few things. Mom still wants to stay in her house with the hope to die there and doesn’t want to talk about other options. What is new is that we have her permission to make decisions for her in the event of health impairment. So my brother and I will research in-home care and nursing care to create some plans in case mom can’t stay at home. Thankfully we have a couple of short-term solutions; me moving in with mom or her moving into the lower level of my brother’s home. Neither of us are ready for me to live there now. New insights are that mom feels pressured and not respected by the talk about options beyond staying in her house. And when we talk on the phone, I try to help solve her problems when all she wants is someone to listen. This is a big reminder to listen, encourage, and support her without trying to force changes. And to make sure that I’m tending my mom, not just her “nest” which I’ve been doing for the last 10 years in an effort to help her stay in her home.
Overall we had a good visit with time to relax, run errands, share meals and enjoy family time. It’s nice that we get along and care for each other in our own ways. I’m grateful for the time with my family, especially living across the country. I hope you enjoy my photos from walks around the neighborhood and a hike near the Great Falls National Park and the Potomac River.
May you enjoy your nest, however that looks.