Moving On

I currently live in the basement of this house. You can see the bamboo in the back that is a haven for birds and the occasional deer.

~

moving on again

deny, accept, search, decide

packing and changing

~

Yes, it snowed yet again. This is definitely the most snow we’ve had in many years.

~

I’ve been all over the map on this decision. I made it much harder by trying to imagine and plan for every future contingency. I’ve offered to help my mother and may potentially move in with her to allow her to stay in the house she knows and loves. I was trying to make a decision that would account for the likely move back east to live with mom. However, after several phone calls with her, it became clear that I needed to make a choice and home for myself here while understanding that I may move in the next year.

My first choice was to rent another room in a house, giving me more flexibility, but leaving me juggling shared house dynamics and the changing needs of landlords. Another choice was to get an apartment of my own, the first place of my own in 7 years since selling my house. The irony is I sold my house to avoid having to share it, needing to rent a room, or other creative ways, to pay my bills and keep the house. By selling my house, I set myself up for 7 years of sharing houses as the renter! A third choice was to buy a van and travel. I yearn for travel and freedom, but it didn’t seem like the right time to go wandering. My financial life is finally getting on track with earnings from both social security and a job as a courier that I enjoy.

We have some beautiful and fancy homes in this neighborhood.

~

The decision was complicated by a very tight real estate market with both houses and apartments in short supply with inflated prices. Most apartment complexes have a 2-3 month waiting list, and the largest property management company won’t even put you on the waiting list without an application and security deposit, along with rather vague answers on getting the deposit back if you don’t move in. Ultimately, I was offered an apartment in a senior apartment community that I had applied to well over a year ago. I resisted for several weeks because I don’t relish the idea of living in a senior-only community, but this was the best apartment that I could find and afford.

This week I move into a small one-bedroom cottage-style apartment with a private entrance and patio, fireplace, and view of the pond. The rent is $601/ month plus utilities which probably sounds great to those of you living in more expensive areas, but these apartments were $445 just over a year ago.

After all the fear, stress, and drama, I feel good, and mostly at peace in making this choice. It will be nice to have my own place again, even if only for a while before moving back east. I plan to keep my furnishings simple and low cost in case I move later this year. If plans change with my mother, then I might treat myself to better furnishings. I currently have no furnishings, other than clothes, sheets, linens, and some decorations, because I purged everything when I sold my house.

I’ll share some photos after I move and settle in a bit. As many wise people note, we need to take care of ourselves in order to be able to help others.

Take care, my precious friends and readers.

98 thoughts on “Moving On

  1. Thanks for this thoughtful update, Brad! I, too, love seeing pictures of your neighborhood β€” including your soon-to-be-former backyard. That bridge is a gem of craftsmanship! Your thinking makes perfect sense β€” and how wise of you to get on the list over a year ago for possible housing at your new community. I hope you enjoy your new home until it’s time to move east and help your mom stay in HER home.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sounds like a stressful time, but I like that you are settled in a nice cottage and have plans for moving in with your mom. Shared housing makes sense in these inflationary days. Your new cottage sounds nice.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Hi Brad, sounds like you are calculated and put thought into your life in a way that keeps you fresh and alive – and in ways that are not too calculated to where it is militant – if that makes sense? I just sense this openness and planning with flexibility.
    And for some reason I have been reading a lot this week about minimalism and simplicity – and sometimes just how loving with less can be the gift. I go some used books back in February (one of my favorite things to dow hen I visit my mother is to go used book shopping) and one of the books I got really challenged readers to consider living life – not getting lost in possessions – and it sounds like you have this going for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the thoughtful and kind support Prior. Yes, I’ve mastered simple living, but maybe taken it too far! Now, I’m wanting to expand my stuff and nest a bit more. I hope I live up to your vision of me as open and flexible. That’s a good way to be. take care…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hi – well we open and flexible needs guard rails too – right?
        And the minimalism topic is truly a topic for discussion.
        I thought of your post while doing an errand today (I guess personal shares like this can linger) and sometimes not getting the privacy we want or prefer can have many perks – I am sure you know this – but I have a handful of examples – and the most recent one is living in a neighborhood. When we first moved to Virginia we almost bought a lot of acres with a smaller house (that meant privacy – but also a drive) – and we went with a bigger house and neighbors. Sometimes it was annoying – but then I realized how we built for community and also – our neighbors can be a safety net – or there can be something beautiful in the togetherness – even if out of need and not first choice.
        Our neighbor just passed away (leukemia) and after knowing him for 19 years – well I am sure glad I didn’t get the privacy I thought I wanted.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This share is filled with so many good morsels Brad. I am really happy for you and this new space you will get to fill with your love and that will support you on to the next part of the journey, as it unfolds. The photos are wonderful…the stillness of being in the second speaks to me of how when we are quiet, the guidance comes from within….the bridge is beautiful and feels so reflective of your journey bridging you from one experience to another with greater flow and ease (hence that wave-like feel in the architecture). And from the first (where you’ve come from…to the potential of where you’re headed that is unknown but filled with hope. Really feels good what you’ve opened to and chose my dear friend…your own place to create that space for you, while also being able to assist your mom if and when the time comes.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Thanks for the update Brad and wishing you all the best in this next chapter of your life. Your photos are all lovely. I’m sure you’ll enjoy having your own space again and who knows, down the track, you may still find that van and that road to adventure and travel. Surrender and flow and good things will come. Big hugs to you my friend. πŸ’›

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Having made a decision and major move back in September I can relate. Best thing I could have done, though at the time it was scary, seemingly impossible and had more than its share of battles. Now I’m so, so, happy here and relieved to be sharing a cheaper rent far from London with all the price rises coming. I hope your move goes well and that you “find your path”.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Oh my Brad – I can totally relate to this. Sounds like you have made the right decision. 14 years ago I was in an almost identical situation to you – including my Mother. I managed to get a one bedroom flat in a very good area for people over 55 – today that has changed – I think now you have to be 65…regardless it has worked beautifully for me. My furnishings were in storage for five years in a barn on top of a mountain in Wales….one step at a time. The important thing is to have your own front door and space….it’s vital for emotional and physical wellbeing. Once that is settled you can then make new plans….Good luck my friend. X

    Liked by 2 people

      • I miss my blog too, and all of the people and connections here. I’ve been having a bit of a rough time with all that is going on in the world (for quite a long while now) and have cut back on the time I spend online. I’m still sending out all the love-vibes I can muster though! β™₯️✌🌸

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time Julie. It’s been hard for many. I hope you have good support and community locally. We need community, especially in these times. You are in my mind and heart. πŸ™πŸ’•πŸŒΌ

        Like

  8. I hope you enjoy having your own place, Brad. A cottage sounds cozy and peaceful while you figure out your next step. I understand the desire to help aging parents. It’s quite a commitment, so I’m glad you’re taking your time. Good luck with your move and settling in. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know you understand the commitment Diana. I’m beginning to wonder if I really can do it. It would require moving across country and living with my mom’s heavy smoking. Meanwhile, a cottage to nest and create a base while this unfolds with mom.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My parents moved in with me for six years, Brad, and I couldn’t manage it. My mom was also a heavy smoker, but more so, I just couldn’t get a second of time or space. Our “break up” was unbelivably painful. Now we live separately, and I’m delighted to handle all their daily needs, but I have a home to go back to and unwind and I get days off. I’m glad you’re taking the time to consider whether that option will work for you. It’s not something to rush into. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  9. You shared some very lovely pictures along with your updates on your life – this cottage sounds lovely too with the view and the fireplace. Wishing you beautiful times of solitude and reflection as you continue to make decisions for this upcoming future.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Hi Brad,
    Your new place sounds lovely, and you don’t have to share!! I look forward to seeing the pics.
    $600 does sound like a bargain for someone living in NY.
    It is hard for us kids with older parents, we often forget about ourselves to make sure they are okay. I don’t regret doing that, but there is need for balance and to make sure that we are not suffering as a result.
    Congratulations on the new place!! Blessings!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Brad, it takes courage to make this kind of choice and who knows what the future may hold. You made the right one for you now. Who knows what life treasure it may hold. Love your pictures. Take care and hugs to you. ❀ Xx

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Congratulations on winning the war of thought. Our thoughts cause us to avoid the best decisions in life. But eventually we do come to peace with what we have and once you make it your own. You will be at much more stable place mentally. I can understand the wanting to help mom and then deciding to make your own. I hope everything settles down and you find peace where ever you go.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Congratulations on your new place, Brad. It sounds perfect to me.
    You are right about taking care of yourself first. Your photos show that, wherever you are, you are able to nourish your soul by appreciating the beautiful gifts of nature.
    So much of what you wrote strikes a chord with me. I can really relate.
    Enjoy your new home. Mother Nature will make it yours.πŸ’›

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Beautiful pictures, love the picture of the bridge Brad…it’s important to realise that we can be of help to others only when we are fine..so self care is so important.. looking forward to your new house pics…am sure it will be a lovely place and experience for you πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•

    Liked by 2 people

  15. It’s extremely thoughtful of you to back in with your mom so she can stay in the house she loves and knows. It’s wonderful that you planned it all in advance and could move in easily. Now, you can enjoy your new home (it sounds cosy) before you move.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m glad you are enjoying the courier job and that social security is helping. And I admire your courage and fluidity. When I was a child, we moved a lot with I tired of. As a result, I’ve been in one place for many years and sometimes feel a bit stagnant. It’s nice to have possibilities.

    Liked by 1 person

Your turn!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s