Cranky Casting Call

My squinty cranky face at the Buffalo River, AR spring 2019

The Cranky Muse aka Mr. Cranky aka Muse Brad has made an ultimatum.

If I want his writing services, then I need to find a woman for us. One of Mr. Cranky’s complaints was the lack of female companionship. We seem to be suffering from a loss of nurturing, connection, and inspiration. He would put it more crassly; dude you need a good roll in the hay.

I must admit The Cranky Muse has a point. I like to think of myself as independent and whole, yet I’d be lying to say I don’t miss the company of a woman, especially certain female charms like kissing, hugging, and other forms of intimacy. TCM would be more direct and say I’m simply missing sex. While true, I also miss the companionship of a woman to share the journey and range of life experiences. A good relationship reflects and draws out more of our being; many aspects that have gone fallow in the years of being single. Intimacy is a wonderful gateway to love, learning, and growth.

~

Ode to a Lonely Lover

they say Virginia is for lovers

yet I’ve not seen her covers

why are the gifts so few

when I’m with you

you possess a certain zeal

dripping with sex appeal

a master of the tease

would you love me please

~

Casting Call

We are holding a casting call for the female lead in our romantic comedy; Ode to a Lonely Lover.

The story begins in Arkansas with opportunities for travel and dislocation. You will be the star and showered with occasional gifts. We offer inducements in the form of hugs, kisses, chocolate, food, and walks in the park.

Wanted:

Medium tall curvy female, age 47 to 60. No smoking or drugs please.

Must like nature, sex, hiking, biking, and solitude.

Kind, compassionate, open-minded, and playful, with a taste for adventure.

Accepting of mercurial moods, fickle tastes, philosophical discussions, and indecision.

Authenticity, patience, and love are required.

No fixing or trying to change your leading man. Just love him as he is.

Benefits:

Older gentleman who is kind, compassionate, and likes to share, but prone to periods of solitude.

Cooking, cleaning, and gardening services available.

The lead is a part-time romantic, part-time crank.

Multiple personalities means you have the opportunity to play many roles.

Your costar likes to kiss, cuddle, and travel.

He is intelligent, a good communicator, and willing to try new things, but prone to distraction.

~

All inquiries should be sent to our agent; Medusa Mary aka the muse mother. Let’s face it, if mom doesn’t like you, then you need to pack your bags! πŸ˜€

We look forward to your auditions,

The Cranky Muse and Company

71 thoughts on “Cranky Casting Call

  1. Dear Medusa Mary,
    I’m writing about applications to tee up with Mr Cranky. He seems to have all the attributes that I require. Easy on the eye, fun loving, likes everything I love. Just one dilemma, I’m across the ocean and already hooked up! But I wish him all the best. He’s going to make one lucky woman very happy one day. 😜
    Yours, Miri
    P.S What a fun post Brad, you made me smile 😁 I DO wish you all the best in finding love. Never give up. There’s someone for everyone. ❀️❀️

    Liked by 9 people

  2. Hola amigo, what a super fun read, and kudos to you for putting yourself out there in such a cool and creative way!! πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰ Love it! Wishing you lots of fabulous replies from fantastic ladies. May they exceed your expectations and pass the ultimate muse mother test, too πŸ™‚ Big hugs!! πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Be sure to vet all the candidates thoroughly, Brad, you deserve only the most worthy of loves. Out there somewhere is there love of your life and she doesn’t even know it. Can’t wait for her to make her way to you! Have a fabulous day and keep the faith. HNS. ❀️

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Wow and wow what a superb post, Brad. You will surely get a wonderful woman of your choice who is fun-loving just the way you are. Loved the way you said Mr. Cranky about you. All the very best you will surely find someone who will be your mate for life.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I so loved reading this Brad! Made me smile, giggle, and cheer! I’m loving Mr. Cranky’s bold and transparent style to go for what he wants. I know the perfect gift awaits both parties when that alignment ignites! Sending lots of good vibes toward your intentions for the highest good! YAY! πŸ™ŒπŸ₯°

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Well, that’s a bold move, Brad. Very cleverly written. I have no doubt you will find the perfect lady. WP is probably a less brutal place than a dating site. A good place for a sensitive soul like you to send out the message. Wishing you much luck!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the kind wishes Julie. It’s interesting how you and others view this as an ad. Yes, I’m putting my hopes and intentions out via the blog in a fun way, but didn’t really consider it a literal ad for dating. I’d be happily surprised to connect with someone via our community.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This post made me smile :))) I love the lightness and love with which you put your request out into the Universe. I looked up smiling at the Universe to and made a friendly demand that all your wishes be granted and very soon. Just today I happened to listen to Dr Dain Heer about his book The Return of the Gentleman (I think that’s the title) and how there are so many kindhearted sensitive men in this world who deserve to be understood for who they are and should find a caring woman who understands and respects him. You are certainly one of those.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I have said it before, Brad, how the lady who enters your life will be a lucky woman. My gut tells me you are more than only β€œGood on Paper” (a recent movie). You are the real deal.

    Vulnerable, honest, funny, β€œeasy on the eye” – agreeing with Miriam’s line.

    I am familiar with someone who met his partner/now wife through blogging. The right person will enter your life at the right time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I appreciate your kind words and high opinion of me Erica. I would be lucky and happy to meet a woman who sees me as you do. Confidence has been a challenge for me. I will try to take your words into my heart. Thank you. πŸ™

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve got to say, after a long day and finally getting to lay down and read for a while, your post really lifted my spirit and made me feel good. Not at the misery of feeling alone, but for both the authenticity as well as humor without sarcasm. I found it clever and I guess it just connected in a way I needed. Hard to explain, I guess. It sounds like (in many ways) we are on the same page, which, at least for me, is refreshing.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Too bad I don’t fit the required age bracket and also not single πŸ˜›πŸ˜›…this was such a fun, entertaining post…hope you’re spoilt with choices and more importantly pick the right one..good luck mate πŸ˜€πŸ‘πŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

  10. We are all jumping for joy Brad at your invitation! It’s really wonderful that you are ready to share your love… after a long journey getting to know Brad, allowing his brave, authentic and joker self to step forward. Yes shouting from the mountains of Arkansas your desire… we hear you, she hears you! You’re going to make each other very happy. Oh it’s going to happen quick. Hope you are going to copy this beautiful humorous post in our Awakening group❀️ Sending you love, Barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

  11. “Let’s face it, if mom doesn’t like you, then you need to pack your bags! πŸ˜€” Lol. That line cracked me up. Good luck with the search, Brad, and I hope Muse Brad shows up for the auditions. He’ll charm them with his photos and poetry. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh Brad…. Loved this post today…. So missed being here my friend and had a really good chuckle especially when reading Miriam’s reply too.. πŸ™‚ Now you know if I hadn’t already got a wonderful hubby, your charms and qualifications would have ticked all the boxes. Including the Solitude … love my own space… πŸ™‚
    Great light-hearted read Brad… Just what is needed in the world.. LOVE, Romance, and Humour… πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’›

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Goodness, Brad, your benefits make me drool and I would be more then happy to jump into line and say me! Unfortunately I am already married so that ends that AND I am over the age limit of 60. Phooey. One day you will make some woman a very happy one indeed and she you. I will say what Miriam said …. don’t give up on love. Thank you for the chuckles I got out of this post. My smile on my face now is because of you. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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