They say to be careful what you wish for. I put the call out to Muse Brad to see if he would like to join our MuseFest and to ask if he might consider returning to write for this blog. I wanted to include him in our special celebration of muses. This is the response that came back from MB.
Not you again. I thought I was pretty clear that I didn’t want to be bothered. You said you’re were doing fine without me so why are you pestering me again. Can’t a muse retire in peace? What didn’t you understand about “leave me alone”? Supposedly you’re a writer. You can figure out how to keep the blog going and leave me out of it.
And if I was to come out of retirement to write for you and your stinking blog, there is a BIG list of conditions.
Here are just a few of my demands for any new muse contract.
1- First of all, I want a proper desk, ergonomic chair, and soothing environment. This writing on the bed routine is hell on a body and muse.
2- No more mercenaries and scabs. If I’m you’re muse, then I work solo, exclusively, and contract guaranteed. No trades, firing, or replacement allowed.
3- No more festivals with misfit muses. I want a cultured gathering of professional muses.
4- Our writing would improve if we left the country, state, or even house once in a while. I thought I was a cranky recluse, but you make me seem like a charming socialite.
5- No mask wearing at home or in public. What the hell did we get vaccinated for if we still have to wear a mask?
6- I want to be paid. This working for free crap has got to stop. You have a gift (me) that needs to be valued and appreciated with some renumeration. You know; greenbacks, gold, or maybe crypto. Ice cream, caffeine, and food are nice, but they don’t pay my muse union dues.
7- Sex and dating. Yes, I brought up the forbidden topics on this blog. Did you forget that I’m not a monk even though you act like one. How about some dates? You haven’t been on a date in 8 years and no relationship for 11 years. That is sad dude! People are wondering if you’re dying or just emotionally challenged. Get out of the house man!
8- How about some fun? Why are you such a priss about language and topics? No cussing, no sex, no derogatory posts, no depressing posts. Are you pretending to be a saint? We all know you’re just a regular, somewhat intelligent, socially challenged old fart. Get over yourself.
Your cranky and humble muse, aka Muse Brad
P.S. No muses were harmed in the creation of this post, although I came very close to breaking my intentions for this blog to be a loving and peaceful space. I’m not sure I even want this cranky version of Muse Brad to return to my blog. Maybe Muse Brad forgets my Gemini nature with multiple personalities and the corresponding diverse collection of muses. It would quite easy to replace him or at least make do with my motley muses.
What’s your vote? Let him return? Cave to his demands? Try a new muse? Or give up on writing altogether?
P.S.S. I will be going to Virginia to see family this week and taking a break from posting and visiting blogs for a few weeks. Feel free to keep the party going in my absence and please tag your posts #MuseFest2021 so that I can find them. Thanks.