The Cranky Muse

They say to be careful what you wish for. I put the call out to Muse Brad to see if he would like to join our MuseFest and to ask if he might consider returning to write for this blog. I wanted to include him in our special celebration of muses. This is the response that came back from MB.

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Halloween 8 years ago, just about when Muse Brad made his first appearance. A preview of coming nightmares!

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Not you again. I thought I was pretty clear that I didn’t want to be bothered. You said you’re were doing fine without me so why are you pestering me again. Can’t a muse retire in peace? What didn’t you understand about “leave me alone”? Supposedly you’re a writer. You can figure out how to keep the blog going and leave me out of it.

And if I was to come out of retirement to write for you and your stinking blog, there is a BIG list of conditions.

Here are just a few of my demands for any new muse contract.

1- First of all, I want a proper desk, ergonomic chair, and soothing environment. This writing on the bed routine is hell on a body and muse.

2- No more mercenaries and scabs. If I’m you’re muse, then I work solo, exclusively, and contract guaranteed. No trades, firing, or replacement allowed.

3- No more festivals with misfit muses. I want a cultured gathering of professional muses.

4- Our writing would improve if we left the country, state, or even house once in a while. I thought I was a cranky recluse, but you make me seem like a charming socialite.

5- No mask wearing at home or in public. What the hell did we get vaccinated for if we still have to wear a mask?

6- I want to be paid. This working for free crap has got to stop. You have a gift (me) that needs to be valued and appreciated with some renumeration. You know; greenbacks, gold, or maybe crypto. Ice cream, caffeine, and food are nice, but they don’t pay my muse union dues.

7- Sex and dating. Yes, I brought up the forbidden topics on this blog. Did you forget that I’m not a monk even though you act like one. How about some dates? You haven’t been on a date in 8 years and no relationship for 11 years. That is sad dude! People are wondering if you’re dying or just emotionally challenged. Get out of the house man!

8- How about some fun? Why are you such a priss about language and topics? No cussing, no sex, no derogatory posts, no depressing posts. Are you pretending to be a saint? We all know you’re just a regular, somewhat intelligent, socially challenged old fart. Get over yourself.

Your cranky and humble muse, aka Muse Brad

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The celebration has begun, 63 and counting.

P.S. No muses were harmed in the creation of this post, although I came very close to breaking my intentions for this blog to be a loving and peaceful space. I’m not sure I even want this cranky version of Muse Brad to return to my blog. Maybe Muse Brad forgets my Gemini nature with multiple personalities and the corresponding diverse collection of muses. It would quite easy to replace him or at least make do with my motley muses.

What’s your vote? Let him return? Cave to his demands? Try a new muse? Or give up on writing altogether?

P.S.S. I will be going to Virginia to see family this week and taking a break from posting and visiting blogs for a few weeks. Feel free to keep the party going in my absence and please tag your posts #MuseFest2021 so that I can find them. Thanks.

#MuseFest2021

80 thoughts on “The Cranky Muse

  1. Brad! You look fabulous. I say let Cranky Muse out once in a while. There’s nothing wrong with the whole spectrum of emotions. They exist to be felt and processed and shared. πŸ™‚ Have a wonderful vacation, kind gentleman. Cheers!🍸

    Liked by 5 people

  2. This is hellacious! Let Muse Brad come back with a few restrictions. No complaining…. and he needs to be more tolerant of all the things he resists. Forgetting to resist and focusing more on what he wants will let the fun and sunshine come in more! Give him a good water pistol fight ever so often.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. this made me giggle! love “cranky” muse brad, but i think he’s just “honest” muse brad. i love him and likely would love all the diverse muse faces within your multi-dimensional self. i say let him and the others out! weeeeee! #freethemuses! have a wonderful time away with your family in virginia brad. sounds like a nice break to see who else wants to join the party when you return. LOVE the halloween photo fun! haha!! and looking great as always! safe travels and warm wishes for a great trip filled with inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Loved the musings here Brad… Even if our focus is on love and light we couldn’t know it without the darkness. So it is our duty to share this too❀️ What is really good for us is to be able to laugh at ourselves… you’ve managed to give all your friends here a good giggle, so good for us! Enjoy your time away❀️ love Barbara

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Brad!
    I like Muse Brad, very ‘Gemini’ and mercurial humour. As with any muse take out to give air/water and use for for inspiration may be needed…(love the payment factors…hummm). 🀣🀣

    I wonder if I can bribe mine! …*cough*… Out. Okay! Enjoy VA, being a VA girl my self hope the weather is just right now.

    May your journey be festive.πŸŽ‰βœ¨πŸΏπŸ¦‹
    Nims

    Liked by 1 person

    • thanks Nims. I’m glad you enjoyed the cranky humor. We need to air out our muses and feelings. I hope yours comes out to play. I’m looking forward to seeing family and where I grew up. 😍

      Like

  6. I agree with J.D. Maybe let the cranky muse out once in a while. That was some entertaining demands there. ‘cultured gathering’ sounds like a very special club. Love the humour in this post. You write very well and widely. Keep it up. Oh, and your Halloween getup looked great 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have to agree with him–especially on the ergonomic chair and getting out of Dodge once in awhile. I took a day trip with a friend last weekend and it was balm for my soul. Get that chair and then get out of it for awhile to go have an adventure:).

    Like

  8. These are such honest and fun to read musings. I have been accused of being too saintly/nice and get tempted to try a different language in my speech sometimes. I must admit it has felt very liberating once I do let go and try on a different way of being, which I discover is still me πŸ™‚ So I say yes to being exactly ourselves in the moment and getting out and making more choices.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey Brad, this made me smile and gotta say, you look really good. And you know what, you’re allowed to get cranky every once in a while. What the heck, let it all out, all the emotions and shit stuff. Have a great time in Virginia and let the new you out. Who knows who we’ll find when you return! Big hugs. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I think it’s a great idea to let the muse out periodically!! Love this post!! It brought a huge smile to my face!! We are all human!! Have a great vacation and my best to you!! Blessings to you and Muse Brad!!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Well, keep writing is my vote. And cranky Muse Brad can learn to share the limelight. He gets a voice, but so do your other muses. I know a little haiku muse that demands very little of her poets other than to go outside. She’s available. πŸ™‚ Enjoy your time away with family. Take your camera and notebook. See you when you get back.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I actually agree with Cranky Muse. I have a boss a lot like how he described you. I want a fancy chair too. And NON hazelnut coffee! I’m already a nut, and I don’t need more in my daily routine!

    And you can go out… just be vaccinated, wear your mask, stay 6 feet away from everyone and tell Mr Cranky pants that you tried but it was boring so it’s better for him to focus and write 😁

    Have fun with your family!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Cranky Muse is telling it like it is. I admire his honesty, directness, and assertiveness and vote to let him express himself now and then. Consider his suggestions, but you’re the boss.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Oh, I’m sorry to tell you this, Brad, but I LOVE Cranky Muse. He’s funny, smart, snide and sarcastic (but I bet he doesn’t really mean that part). He’s not a push over and he’s going to push you into some writing action!! (And maybe some other kind of action, too!!) πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

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