Awakening has been a very elusive idea and experience for me.
This is a big part of why I declined to participate in Barbara’s collection of awakening experiences from bloggers on WordPress. If I’m being honest, I don’t feel worthy of being a model of awakening. Awakening for me has been a long, arduous process with nebulous results. I’m not even sure it’s a worthy goal for me anymore. You can find snippets of awakening experiences in this post on Barbara’s site.
I did some research on awakening and found some background information on a site called manataka.org. On their site, awakening is described as an altered perception, a knowing beyond knowledge. For most people, it is a gradual process, filled with ups and downs. For others, it is a profound shift that happens in a moment. The hit-and-miss style of awakening that most people experience (including myself) is partly due to our harried modern lives that cause waves of distraction and confusion. They believe all beings are awakened and brought back home to the creator.
From the awakening experiences I’ve read, these two struck a deep chord with me.
1- Aleya starts her post on awakening with the declaration “I’d actually felt turned off by the concepts of ‘awakening’ and ‘ascension’.” This also describes me very well. I’ve begun to feel that chasing awakening is about as fruitful as chasing happiness. And if you’ve been following me for a while, then you might remember that I no longer choose to pursue happiness. A more worthy goal for me is pursuing contribution or connection.
Regardless of my bias against pursuing happiness or awakening, Aleya bravely shares her recent sense of disconnection from the divine and most things spiritual. Aleya writes about feeling generally disconnected and disgruntled, along with a sense of relief for letting go of expectations around “knowing”. Again, her reflections strike a deep chord with me. Ultimately, Aleya found a ray of hope and purpose in simply wanting to believe and connect with the divine. I’m not sure that I can even muster those. I’m more focused on simply surviving and learning to love.
Aleya wisely concludes that “Awakening allows us to doubt, question, and disconnect. Awakening is patient.”
2- The second one is from Michael of Embracing Forever. Michael has a unique voice and poetic way of describing life. His article on awakening is a classic example of his unique perspective. Rather than catalog the experiences that led to or prove his awakening, Michael takes us on a direct experience with his words. This journey is filled with love, dissatisfaction, whimsey, and mystery, wonderfully reflecting the journey of awakening. If awakening is our goal, then I’m ready to crack open to love, laugh, and play in fields with Michael and the other mystic poets.
May we awaken more love in our hearts and actions.