The Edge
~
walking toward the edge
fear growing with each step
my heart pounding
body and nerves shaking
mind’s urgent warnings
~
leaving the comfort zone
when we face our fears
anything is possible
failure, growth, or joy
step off and fly
~
The first time I remember this feeling is when I saw the Grand Canyon as a child and was afraid to go the edge. I was literally shaking as I got near the edge of the cliffs. And yes, the drop is very significant, but I wasn’t really in physical danger. My fear of heights and edges was raging, compounded or created by watching my brother fall off our outdoor landing when he was about 3 and I was 10. It was a 12-foot fall that left him unconscious and spending the next week in the hospital. The prognosis was for him to maybe never walk again, but my mother was determined that he would walk, and he was fine over time. But those few weeks were a dramatic and stressful time for me. So the fact that I visited the Grand Canyon as an adult and was able to negotiate my fears and the steep edges to hike all the way from the South Rim down to the valley below and back was a major accomplishment. Not to mention one of the hardest hikes I’ve ever done. It was about 11 miles round trip, but I found it much harder to hike down first and then have the climb at the end of the day, especially when I didn’t bring enough water!
That summer was a time of physical and mental growth as I learned to push myself, explore new places (within and without), and develop a sense of confidence that was new for me. Plus, I was in great shape from all the hiking. Over the summer, I progressed from mild 3-5 mile hikes to strenuous 12-15 mile hikes, often with over 5000-foot elevation gains. It’s good to remember those times and accomplishments as I roll into my senior years and contemplate what to do. Hopefully, I won’t let fear keep me from the edge, but truthfully, I’ve seen myself become much more cautious in the last decade.
To facing our fears and pursuing dreams.
And the same thing will happen here as you start a new role. The fear is a very good thing, and you will overcome it, find your wings, and soar. All best wishes, Brad.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for the encouragement Cynthia. My new job was a poor match so I’m back looking for work. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes caution is your “new” fear! Meaning, it’s not about conquering fear to do a thing, so much as creating a new and uniquely loving relationship with your changing capacity, and overcoming the old definitions of yourself. One way or another love grows and shows no bounds! Lovely post, Brad!
LikeLiked by 4 people
That is a wonderful perspective. Thank you Ka!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad that you received it that way Brad; also this Esther Hicks quote just showed itself at my desk again, and I think it applies when we look beyond the fear at what we are really working with,
“Fear itself is not the impediment to your joyful life. But, fear is pointing at the impediment to your joyful life. And just as the feeling of fear is within you, the impediment is within you also.”
Interesting, just more thoughts to fuel the transformation process for us both. I like how the focus isn’t on fear, but on discovery.
Blessed day to you Brad
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you again Ka. to discovery and acceptance.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us and reminding us to “face the fear but to do it anyway.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re most welcome. We all need encouragement and support.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh that old ‘Edge’…Creepy place, for real. At great heights especially. Sometimes the edge draws you closer and almost makes you go over..At great heights it has a way of beckoning. .But good for you Brad! Bucking the fear is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do…Go for it and I hope you find complete success. Blessings to you…VK
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks VK. I have lots of internal edges I’m facing. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Get a file and start dulling them down 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
This is a wonderful post Brad. Here’s to facing our fears and taking those small steps that lead us closer to the edge. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Miriam. I need a boost. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, Brad! Love, Love, LOVE that photo!!! I can feel the energy radiating from IT, just as infeelbyour passion in the words you wrote!
Ah! The Grand Canyon!! I’ve seen it twice…from the north and the South. I have always wanted to hike down but have not been back. That area had such incredible energy for me. The older I get, the more challenging that hike would be. I believe I would have to plan a trip to stay over at the bottom and hike back up the next day.
I’m proud of you, Brad. Fear is a funny thing. It usually is based on a past experience that we associate with the new one. Your brother’s fall no doubt contributed. But I wonder what it would be like if we could start each new journey with childlike wonder, AND childlike fearlessness!
Now that would be fun!!!
Have a super week, Brad 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Lorrie. I hope you get to hike it one day. It was a wonderful place and experience. I totally agree that starting each day fresh with childlike wonder would be fantastic. May I borrow your magic wand? 🙂
LikeLike
You betcha!!😁
I really believe that “playing” is paramount, Brad! Everyone should have something to play!
Have a super Wesnesday!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed Lorrie. More play would be great. Happy playday!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Senior years… psh! 😉 Great post Brad, I enjoyed reading about your experiences and hearing your reflections. Yes, to facing our fears and pursuing dreams! And I would add to that… embracing change, as I’m on the brink (edge) of some changes here. Have a wonderful day, my friend. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good addition Julie! I’m often on those emotional edges from change too! 🙂 To spring and gentle changes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful poem, Brad, and what an account of your experiences with edges. There is something liberating about facing our fears and challenging ourselves as we shiver in our shoes (or hiking boots). I used to rock climb, but as I’ve aged, heights are harder for me. I get dizzy. BUT I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, and when I go, I’m going to walk to the edge! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Diana. I bet rock climbing was a fun challenge. I haven’t pushed myself much in a while. Maybe it’s time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was fun, but I was 45 years younger! And tied to a rope. Have fun, but be safe too. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kudos for trying it and being safe. 🙂
LikeLike
Yes, spread your wings and let’s fly… how courageous of you to keep facing fears… just breathe them all in and allow yourself to flow with life. Love barbara x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I appreciate the enthusiasm and encouragement Barbara. Maybe I’ll start doing what I write about! 🙂
LikeLike