ARC Challenge – Day 3
I’m participating in a 7-day challenge called the ARC Challenge held by Jesse Elder. A friend introduced me and invited me to join. In just a couple of days, I’ve experienced a lot of resistance to Jesse and his challenges. I guess that’s a good sign!
Yesterday, he asked us to write a letter to someone whose behavior caused us pain or contributed to our sense of harm. The letter is to address unfinished business with that person, so we can let go of the pain and baggage we’re carrying around. Often the pain comes from a person we care about. Maybe like me, you never wanted to confront them. By writing a letter, burning it and releasing the energy, we are freeing ourselves to move on and lighten up in life. This is Jesse’s definition of “enlightenment”; simply to lighten up.
This isn’t a new idea to me. I’ve done burning bowl ceremonies with Unity before, but I had to dig deeper this time to find someone that I felt had hurt me and where I’m still carrying the pain. I searched my mind and heart and found a person. It was the leader of a men’s group I participated in my thirties. I received much benefit, wisdom and connection from the leader and our group. However, one night the leader’s choices hurt me and seemed to violate the rules of our group. So I’ve written, burned and released a letter to this man.
Here are the suggestions for the process in case you feel you would like to release some old baggage.
- Think of someone whose behavior caused you harm and that you still have challenging feelings.
- Write a letter expressing all the feelings, the specific behavior, and your experience until you feel complete.
- Find and write about the lessons you received from this experience
- Who have you become as a result of this experience?
- Thank the person for helping you to become who you are today.
- Thank yourself for who you’ve become and the path you’ve taken. Acknowledge the courage, strength, pain, etc.
- Forgive the person in your heart and the letter.
- Burn the letter and release all related feelings of anger, fear, guilt. If desired, make a video of the burning ceremony to remember and honor the release.
- Congratulations! You’ve released old baggage and stuck energy. Now you have room to allow more of your true self to shine forth.
- You may want to make a ritual of doing this practice every few months, weeks or whatever feels right. I’m going to try once a week for a while.
By the way, my lessons were about trusting myself, reclaiming my power, compassion and becoming a leader. I may have more to write about this later.
May we rise and shine!
This sounds like an important and powerful thing to do, Brad. Thanks for sharing. Even writing the letter means acknowledging a person who has hurt you, and “talking” to that person. That takes guts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Cynthia. It did feel freeing to write the letter. I’ve had a few conversations with him in my head, but not writing it all out and then releasing. I hope this clears some space for me to move forward more empowered and clear. I appreciate your support. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow!! That is amazing! You know I have been able to forgive friends and co-workers who caused me pain or hurt but not family members. Maybe it’s because I have higher expectations of family than somebody I’m not related to. I wish I could truly forgive certain of my cousins but at this point the hurt has gone too deep and the pain for so long that I’d be a hypocrite and a liar by writing a letter when I know that if I saw them on the street I would just pass them by. However in the years since the final incident which split us apart permanently I must admit they take us less and less space in my head. I went my way and they went theirs. Life does go on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I appreciate your honesty DeBorah. You know what is best for you. Forgiveness has been a powerful tool and release for me. And there are still people and places within me that I hold pain and judgements. My motivation is to open myself to more love and flow in life. Hugs and blessings to you and yours…
LikeLike
A really good idea to write such letters. I know quite a lot of people whom I would write a letter, but I guess I had to continue until I die 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, there always seem to be deeper layers to peel away making room for love. Hugs! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wish it was like that 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why, what is it like for you Mitza?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some people, specially in your own family can hurt you so much that writing a letter is not enough and there’s no more place for love.
LikeLike
I’m sorry to hear that Mitza. I hope you finds ways to let go and heal. blessings, Brad
LikeLike
Wonderful Brad that you have reached inside and been able to release this old wound.. I have written several letters over time.. Several to my Mother, since her passing, as I asked her Why she chose to ignore me and then to forgive her.. I called them Angel Letters at the time and yes I burnt mine also..
A great sense of getting those unspoken words off our chest caused relief..
I hope the same emotions were felt by yourself as we let go of our hidden emotions we have for so long kept inside, often not even knowingly holding that pain..
Love and blessings dear Brad.. Enjoy your day
Sue ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m delighted that you were able to write and release those feelings with you Mother Sue. Yes, I felt some relief as well as empowerment. Releasing is good! I appreciate you Sue. hugs and blessings…
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 You too Brad
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a wonderfully freeing practice, Brad. Forgiveness is such a powerful thing.
Thanks for sharing. Here’s to letting go and releasing…
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed Julie. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that I could use more often. 🙂 I hope your day flows with love… ❤
LikeLike
Forgiveness is the key, but not always easy to use it. I thought I had done all that work and felt free, but recently when I suddenly saw a picture of a person from my past, I noticed my work was not finished. So more work ahead 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree Helen. Forgiveness is very important, requires work and involves many layers! 🙂 You can do it! hugs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs to you too, have a beautiful weekend 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Helen!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for sharing Brad! Well outlined process…as a mentor of mine once said…”Why are you letting that live rent free in your head?” Get rid of it…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great expression Kirt. Time for an eviction! 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing your experience, Brad, and for describing the technique so that others of us can experience it also. That’s very useful. It’s incredible how deeply some experiences can touch and influence us even years after they have occurred. Sometimes we are conscious of the mark they have left on us and other times not. Love & blessings, Sam 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome Sam. I’ve done other forgiveness work and am often surprised of both the layers of pain and relief. to forgiveness and love…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a very good practice which is part of my MasterCreater Class… Love to you and all your great writing X barbara
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Barbara. I bet your class is full of wisdom and joy!
LikeLike
great picture
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks.
LikeLike