This is a post I hoped to never write. I’ve been stewing about it for days (weeks, months). My life has been in a downhill slide for the past 4 years. I’ve hinted at some of the issues, but pride kept me from going into too much detail. So here’s the messy truth.
I’ve been out of work for 2 of the last four years. In the process, I’ve been living off my savings and making poor investment choices so that I’m nearly broke. Clearly, it would have been better to find a roommate or temporary job sooner. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to put my house up for sale. I wasn’t sure I wanted to sell, but it seemed like my best choice to free up some money. Surprisingly, after putting my house for sale, I received an offer in 2 days. So it seems I will be saying goodbye to the home and gardens I have lovingly created.
Now, I feel sad and nervous about this choice, and yet peeking through, I also feel a sense of excitement. Maybe I can turn this into an opportunity to reboot my life, creating a life of passion again, living simply and focusing on two things; enjoying life and helping others. Next, I’ll need to find an inexpensive place to live. I’m even asking the question of whether I want to stay in Fayetteville, or start fresh somewhere else.
This is all I know for today. I feel a mixture of sad, nervous and excited. The closing is in less than 4 weeks, so I need to move quickly. I’m working on accepting and flowing with what the universe seems to be supporting for me. I’m tired of the financial and emotional struggles from the last few years, although it has taught me compassion for people living in poverty and financial hardship.
I wish I knew how to trust, myself and the universe, but I don’t. Somehow, I need to decide what next and reboot my life. It would be nice to find peace and clarity in my path. Prayers and suggestions are welcome. Thanks, Brad