Home Alone

This morning I woke up feeling down emotionally. I’m not sure why, but part of it was self judgment. My mind was telling me that I’m too isolated and haven’t done well at loving, the theme for this month’s project in my journey to joy.

While it’s true that I spend many hours home alone, especially working from home, living alone, and being single. It’s also true that I feel better overall than I did a month ago. I’m blogging consistently, and periodically connecting with friends.  Do I radiate love daily or have I changed anyone’s life? I doubt it, but I’m open to the possibility! And I’m continuing my journey to joy by practicing being more loving. Knowing that love is inclusive, I’m remembering to be gentle and caring with myself today.

Earlier, I was feeling isolated, being home alone with my computer. Then things shifted after reading two articles on that same computer! First, I looked at the Daily Word from Unity. Today’s word was outlook; reminding me that our outlook improves when we appreciate God’s blessings in our lives. I did this for a few minutes and felt my mood improve and my energy come alive. No more moping around!

Then I got on WordPress to start today’s blog and found a wonderful post by Jenni on her Under the Apricot Tree blog. Her post touched my heart and reminded me of the simple satisfaction I receive when I slow down to savior and appreciate my life. The Daily word was similarly suggesting that when we are having challenges or feeling off is exactly when we need to slow down and take note of the blessings in our lives.

I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I’ve decided that my project for November is going to be Appreciation. I’m going to dedicate 10″ every morning and evening to appreciating the blessings in my life.

Today was a good start.

So I not only experienced the power of appreciation, but I learned that I prefer to have action with my monthly projects. I feel better when my goals, intentions, and values are expressed through actions in my life. Today’s shift was mental first, then emotional, and finally action. I believe these levels are all connected. Sometimes we shift from inside to outside, and sometimes our actions help change our attitude. I’ve found that living well often requires embracing  paradox and inclusion. In other words, the answer is often both, not one or the other!

My soul is calling me to more action. I’m heeding the call, while mindful of balance. In my teens and 20s, I was a whirlwind of constant action. Yes I accomplished many things, but also covered up a great deal of inner pain. I chose not to use busyness as an escape from inner pain. My goal is a balance of meaningful action AND down time to rest, reflect, & renew.


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