Once upon a time in a land far away lived a boy inside a man, yearning to be free. Free to follow his heart; like the yearning he felt when watching nature & travel shows. At those times, he knew love was real; opening his heart and inspiring his mind.
Then he woke up in Arkansas. How the heck did I get here, he wondered? As did his friends from the DC area where he grew up. No one really understood why he was here, almost like a desert experience. Was this an ego choice, a sort of punishment, or a spiritual test? He kept isolating, lost in self analysis. Time to wake up to love, to the present moment, to source, to self, and to life.
The above rambling is a portrait from my wandering mind. The part of me that always looks for somewhere better than here and now, using the excuse that over there will be better than over here. I’m learning to make friends with and include this wounded ego mind of mine. I’m told that I have a sharp mind, but mind hasn’t brought me the grand prize of enlightenment. If enlightenment even exists, but that’s another blog! My only real peace has come from connecting with the deeper part of me I call BEING, borrowing the term from Eckhart Tolle.
I feel better physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually as I spend more time in the deep well of being; resting and refreshing. One of my favorite practices is to sit still and watch nature; to feel the aliveness and see the beauty. I notice that my mind settles all on it’s own without forcing anything. As I quiet, I feel a growing sense of stillness & aliveness centered in my chest & heart area. My mind still has ideas, but they seems smaller, quieter, less urgent. Curiously, new insights often come from the same mind that was chattering like an excited monkey moments ago. The difference is that now my mind is connected to my larger being; not the top dog, just part of the crew. Many teachers speak of the mind as a terrible master, but a great resource or servant. I have definitely experienced this as true in my life.
This blog idea has been growing in the last few months. I hope it will be a way to express some of my many interests, including to travel, to connect, to teach, & to have more fun along the way.
I’m willing to be open and honest, no perfect guru here. My life has been fulled with much suffering and self criticism that leads to more negativity. I’m learning how to avoid the pitfalls, or at least get out quicker, then build bridges toward my vision for a happier, more fulfilling life. As I learn to “gentle up” the self criticism, I allow space for new aspects and insights to come.
I hope that you, my dear reader, will come along for the ride. My blog may inspire, educate, amuse, confuse and confound; just like my life. I’ll be using my writing to explore the path of self discovery and leave some signposts along the trail for you. Therefore, the creation of this blog.
Saddle up, the ride could get bumpy!